By Jon Show – It’s hard for me to look out at the lake and not think of my dad.

My first memories with him on the water are learning how to fish on a narrow white dock in Minnesota. My later memories are in the early morning light, on a small lake in northern Indiana, as he drank coffee, smoked Benson & Hedges, and pointed out the best places to cast.

Years later, when we moved to the east coast, the two of us took a boating course together to try to understand all the rules that went into navigating the ocean, and later tried to figure out how anyone catches a fish in the ocean, a skill we never developed.

It wasn’t always fishing. He taught me to water ski before I started Kindergarten. There was the time he dragged me across a lake in Wisconsin to play pool with his buddies, and returned me to my mom with a nose colored blue from pool chalk.

As an adult, many of our conversations took place on Sundays looking out at the lake.

Most times it was sitting in a rocker, beers in hand, cigar in his. He would ask me about my job or whatever else was going on with my life, as we kept watch over the water.

I think there were only two or three Father’s Days in our 50 years together that I didn’t spend with my dad. I was always with him on that day, by choice. I sure wish I had the option this year because I know what I’d choose.

Back porch. Rockers. Cold beers. Northeasterly breeze. Temptations playing on the stereo as the sunset tucked behind the Catawba River, until we were called into dinner.

On to the annual Father’s Day advice column that my kids, hopefully, will someday read, and maybe heed.

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I will always be proud of your accomplishments. I am more proud, endlessly proud, when you are compassionate and have a willingness to help others when they need it most.

A lot of straight-haired people wish they had curly hair. Many curly-haired people wish they had straight hair. Appreciate what you have.

The happiest adults are generally people who went through tough times and dealt with them. They learned how to deal with the struggle. Bad times don’t break you. Not knowing how to cope with them will.

Be a person who can be proud of their accomplishments without having to post every single one of them to Instagram.

If you haven’t figured out that your mom and I have no idea what we’re doing when it comes to parenting … well I’ll just tell you we have no idea what we’re doing but we sure are trying our best.

That said, reflecting on the last 17 plus years of parenting both of you, I am well aware that I made some mistakes. Not sure what to say other than sorry, I meant well.

You might not always agree with the parenting decisions that your mom and I make but based on the young man and young woman you’ve become I’d say we’re doing a pretty good job.

I hate to say this but it’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way. When you’re a helpful person there are certain people who will take advantage of you. I’m not saying don’t help others, but when you find one of those people don’t ever help them again.

Mistakes don’t become your identity unless you allow them to. When you screw up, apologize and be better next time. If you screw up again, re-read the last line.

Furthermore, when you mess something up it’s an opportunity to impress someone by your response. Don’t mess that up too.

A lack of accountability isn’t cute, it’s a character flaw. When someone asks you to do something, then do it. If you forget, apologize and then do it, and don’t let it happen again.

Your generation is more connected than any in recorded history but has no idea how to communicate. Say thank you multiple times. Write a thank you note the next day. Gratitude will never go out of style. Ever.

Wear the article of clothing that your friends think is weird. It’s hard to stand out from the crowd when you’re all dressed in the same golf shirt and khaki shorts, or Lululemon tank top and skirt.

Every so often, pause, look around and appreciate the moment or situation. Being present in a moment and being grateful for it is a key to happiness.

Reduce your horizon. If you focus more on what’s in front of you and less on what’s down the road, it’s a way easier path to walk in life.

Be genuinely happy for others’ accomplishments. Maybe you worked harder to achieve something they found easy or vice versa. It doesn’t matter. Be happy for them.

You might hate being told to do chores or work a job but when you’re older you’ll understand the importance. Hungry people succeed. Fed people stay in bed waiting for breakfast.

I say it in here every year. Attitude and effort are the most important qualities in life. Wake up. Put two feet on the ground. And go. Go! Every day.

Always remember that the advice you get is only as good as the person who is giving it to you. Yes, I understand the paradox of advising that in an advice column.

I once heard a sports dad tell his kid to “be a goldfish” because they only have ten-second memories and can’t dwell on their mistakes. Then the father and son argued about whether it was from Finding Nemo or Ted Lasso. Parenting is so rewarding sometimes.

The least interesting part of a person is whether they’re rich or poor. Dollars are numbers in a spreadsheet. Experiences and stories are words that weave a tapestry.

I believed this when I was 20 and I didn’t know anything, and I believe it even more now. A person who dies with the most stories wins. Live a life that cultivates great stories.

You can’t be yourself until you know who you are. And finding out who you are is a lot simpler than people make it. Just be honest with yourself, satisfied with what you discover, and be yourself.

Just because you think you can do a bunch of things at the same time doesn’t mean you’re doing them well.

You can have a belief system and still respect another person’s different belief system. In the end who knows who’s right? Just be good to people.

Here’s one I recently learned: don’t lick a sharp paring knife. You’re never too old to learn new things and sometimes you have to do something dumb to reinforce the common sense you were born with.

You can’t find peace. You choose it by what you ignore, cast aside, and stop wasting your energy on. That’s from Bruce Lee. I’m not explaining who he was. Google him.

Win, lose, or tie, you’ll feel good about yourself knowing you gave 110 percent. That’s all anybody can ask. Don’t ever let anybody say you didn’t give it all you had in you.

That last one is from a letter my dad wrote me in high school. It sits in a folder with other notes he wrote me before big games as a kid.

Dads offer good advice. I sure wish mine was still around to give it.

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Jon Show lives in Robbins Park with his wife, who he calls “The Mother of Dragons.” Their 17-year-old son is “Future Man” and their 14-year-old daughter is “The Blonde Bomber.” Their dog is actually named Lightning.