// archives

humor

This tag is associated with 22 posts
With apologies to "Friends'

When your worst roommates ever are related to you

MODERN DAD | By Jon Show Feb. 9. My kids are the worst roommates I’ve ever had, which is saying something because I once lived with a guy who would stash chicken wing bones behind the couch. I also lived with a guy who took down my closet door to play beer pong and then […]

With apologies to "Father Knows Best"

Kids do what kids do, like grow up

MODERN DAD | By Jon Show Jan. 12. This column is called Modern Dad and it dawned on me that I haven’t really written as much about my kids recently. I thought about it for a while and realized I haven’t written as much about them because I don’t see them as much as I […]

Modern Dad Mission Impossible 2023 Web

Mission Possible: A fantasy heist worthy of a movie

MODERN DAD | By Jon Show Dec. 15. Every good theft starts with a plan. That was the text I received from my friend Anthony, known in these pages as just Anthony, when we were discussing my desire last month to steal a sign from a store that went out of business. His advice was […]

Modern Dad fishing 2023

Live like you never know what’s next

MODERN DAD | By Jon Show Oct. 6. You don’t really get to have adventures as an adult. I don’t mean adult adventures like traveling to another country or eating weird food. I mean like Tom Sawyer adventures. The kind of adventures where you never know what’s next. When you’re an adult, there’s no grabbing […]

With apologies to "Dumb and Dumber"

Would I trade my glabrous pate? No thank you.

MODERN DAD | By Jon Show March 10. I’m bald. Perhaps you noticed. Perhaps you haven’t. Either way, I’m bald. I’ve been bald most of my adult life. I’ve been bald so long that the last time I had a full head of hair I was more concerned about Y2K than I was about losing […]

Modern Dad love boat Feb 2023

If Cornelius were a port on a cruise, here’s what I’d do

MODERN DAD | By Jon Show. Feb. 10. The New York Times recently brought back its “36 Hours” travel column after pausing it for two years due to COVID. The longtime weekly feature suggests to readers how to spend 36 hours in destinations throughout the world like the Matterhorn, Majorca and Tbilisi (yes that’s an […]

soccer

Why play sports at my age?

MODERN DAD | By Jon Show Dec. 31. Every once in a while my mom asks me why I still play in a soccer league and I never have a good answer. It has nothing to do with exercise. I can do that at the gym and not deal with aching hips and a sore […]

Modern Dad Elf Web Dec 2022

The 12 things Modern Dad wants for Christmas

MODERN DAD | By Jon Show Dec. 25. It’s the holiday season, which means it’s the time of year when we call our dads and ask them what they want for Christmas, and they respond with the same time-honored dad answer, “Nothing, I just want you to be happy.” It took having kids for me […]

Modern Dad 5 years

2017-2022: Five years of ‘Modern Dad’

MODERN DAD | By Jon Show Nov. 11. This month marks five years since I began writing this column. Modern Dad was created when the editor and publisher of Cornelius Today, Dave Yochum, read something I wrote and emailed me and proposed writing a column about restaurants or cars. I don’t eat out very often […]

With apologies to 
“The Great Outdoors”

Camping in the dark

MODERN DAD | By Jon Show Sept. 9. The first time I went camping I was 25 years old. It was during a rafting trip with friends and I bought a two-person tent and an inflatable sleeping bag and maybe slept a total of two hours because of the terrifying noises in the dark. I […]