“I have a younger relative who insists on complaining about the political climate and the dearth of quality leadership. We see each other often so it’s tough to escape. Even though we are fairly well aligned with where we come down on issues, it is tiring to rehash the past and how we got here. I also don’t want to be stirred up any more about the November election when it seems like we cannot really do anything about it.

“This negative behavior is obsessive. What can I do to help them get out of this fixation?”

G: I am reminded of a piece I wrote a number of years ago when one famous politician suddenly and unexpectedly came under constant criticism. It was nearly impossible to avoid the topic being brought up at work or social events.

No matter what news cycle we are in, and it doesn’t just have to be about politics, it seems we are always going to be subjected to opinions and actual facts that are hard to hear over and over again. Often times the trick is finding a way to tactfully express one’s disinterest, or else being able to redirect the conversation to lighter fare. When that is not possible, we may be left with having to limit how much time we are in the company of the disgruntled.

This is not to diminish how challenging it feels whenever we must be around people who are sincerely distressed and won’t give up the bone they prefer to chew. Just remember that sometimes these folks simply are not self-aware enough to recognize that they are not helping themselves. They are focusing their energy toward a goal that makes little sense to you, but not to them.

But also consider that some people put their attention on things that serve as a means of avoiding tending to their own issues, to delay taking responsibility or accountability for where they are in life. Dealing with big frustrations with oneself will mean putting aside those things that are out of one’s control, to get on with the business of solving or improving what one can actually fix.

Becoming a good conversationalist requires being able to read the room. Clearly your relative hasn’t gotten to that level yet. The idea is to encourage them. They can invigorate their frustration toward empowerment by participating in campaigns or even perhaps run for an elected position at some point.

If you are in a role of mentoring, you can share these words that I scratched out in an essay when I too was trying to find a way to elevate the political discourse and, simultaneously, one’s spiritual perspective:

What’s needed now is not another distraction from what really matters. What’s needed now is an explanation of what really matters.

Freedom. Peace. Kindness. Patience. Forgiveness.

We need to understand that freedom means allowing everyone to choose what they want to do under the laws of this Land of Liberty.

We need to understand that peace means accepting what others want to do under the laws of this Land of Liberty.

We need to understand that kindness means we are tolerant of what others want to do under the laws of this Land of Liberty.

We need to understand that patience prevails whenever we listen with compassion to what others want to do under the laws of this Land of Liberty.

We need to understand that forgiveness is a process that allows each of us to begin anew whenever we miss the mark.

These form the foundations of the language of spiritual political leadership, and are also a model of behavior that strives to seek justice, show mercy and encourages each of us to walk humbly in this Land of Liberty, this land of hope, light and opportunity.

Giselle M. Massi is the author of “We are Here for a Purpose: HOW TO FIND YOURS” and the novel “Just Dance the Steps.” Her romantacy “WYNTER’S DREAM” is now available. Giselle was a journalist with The Denver Post for 16 years and writes the newspaper advice column TELL GISELLE. Contact her at www.gisellemassi.com.