Our weekly advice column from Giselle Massi, a former journalist with The Denver Post.

Several conversations with a senior, who is preparing for his final stretch of life, brought up a number of what I call “big ticket” items. This person said he suddenly – though it likely was more than a year in the works – realized he no longer believed in the religious teachings he had taken to heart from childhood.

He exuberantly declared he was no longer identifying as a member of a particular religious group. The enormity of this was no less than a massive rupture to his personal identity, but it was exhilarating rather than painful.

G: My response to him was that I was happy for his liberation. I was also sorry that he was “so taken” in by the cult of dogma as it had imprisoned him in ways he was only now fully grasping. I could relate to those wasted days and nights, for me far less of them than for him, holding tightly on to creeds, and the system of restriction it espoused. These have inhibited so many people like him from experiencing much of life’s simple pleasures.

He acknowledged that he had been such a good little Sunday schooler, and quite gullible. He admitted he actually believed, for far too long, that there was “a dude named Daniel who walked around in a ‘firey’ furnace.” I could venture a guess that he was to some degree embarrassed or ashamed, in much the same way a grown adult would feel if they finally gave up on tooth fairies or elves at the end of the rainbow.

This life-altering switch happened to a man whose achievements were based on extensive postgraduate education and a love of academic learning. His areas of interest were varied, from music to politics, and he had maintained a successful professional career within his elite circles.

What I’ve pondered probably for far too many hours of my life is why adults, across all levels of education, can fall for ludicrous beliefs. Not just in the area of religion, but in so many other disciplines. Why is it so many people can comfortably leave their critical thinking skills behind, even when they possess the capacity to read multiple languages and use big words?

Like, for example, how is it they can accept as real any of the tall tale stories of how big the fish was that their buddy had caught on that last trip?  Or that the new owner of their company, or the guy running for an election, are actually going to make things a whole lot better? Or that the romantic partner is no longer going to be verbally or physically abusive?

What this brought to mind were situations where I learned truths that either forever altered my life path, or helped me organize my time in ways that were far more productive and rewarding.

What I came to realize is that all of us do what we do, or believe what we believe, until our capacity for critical thinking expands beyond our tendency to live in our self-created world of feelings, hopes and dreams.

Sometimes it takes a moment of epiphany/grace, such as what the senior told me happened to him, for that expansion to occur. More times than not, I think, it is a result of a gradual change. This awakening to reality could be due to one’s level of discontentment or dissatisfaction, or to the sudden, unexpected onset of a serious illness that jolts us awake.

How those experiences work is by creating an opening in our mental space, not just where creativity and imagination reside, but rather in our capacity to critically examine the information that influences our feelings, hopes and dreams. Those drivers, particularly our deeply held emotions that fuel a sense of loyalty, need to be bridled if they are to work for us instead of against us.

Confining our feelings, hopes and dreams to more modest roles can help us step away from our upbringing, with our loyalties or brain-washing, long enough to be able to see more of ourselves. We can get a good, gut-wrenching peek at our ignorance.

As we put our feelings, hopes and dreams to the side, we can reduce our capacity for delusion, gullibility and even fanciful thinking. The result is we are better suited to embrace truth. We are more likely to discard ideas that no longer serve us. The ones that have deceived us by keeping us from spiritual maturity, wisdom and peacemaking.

Giselle was a journalist with The Denver Post and is the author of “We are Here for a Purpose: HOW TO FIND YOURS” and the novel “Just Dance the Steps.” Her new romantacy “WYNTER’S DREAM” is now available.  Email Giselle with your question at [email protected]  To read more columns go to  www.gisellemassi.com