G: There will be occasions when other people will rely on us to participate in their hopes and dreams. As of this writing, I have known at least a few people who had put in the time to help complete such a project for a loved one, but while doing so displayed some resistance that resembles the fits and starts of a car whose ignition is spotty.

The delay in actually getting going can look and feel like passive aggressiveness. How so? That car does eventually start, aka the person tasked with assistance finally gets themselves in gear, but there is a sense of switching to operate under the low power mode, as when our phone’s battery is at 20 percent.

The question being raised: How can we show up with a full tool kit when our heart and interest are just not in it?

Examining what is in one’s tool kit is worth a careful consideration. If it is sufficiently stocked, it will hold all of our skill sets, a dependable physical stamina, and some material support, should financial resources be necessary. These monies are ideally provided in the form of a gift and not a loan, but even a loan serves as an effective tool, a stepladder, for someone who is reaching for the stars, whether that be professionally, creatively or romantically.

Whatever wisdom and unconditional love we possess should be sufficiently developed, enough to fill in most all of the remaining slots in the tool box. It is likely some of those spaces in the box may show up as cracks and holes that we had not even realized were there. For example, they can take the shape of a low mood or anxiety, or the void may even be permanently housing distress in the form of personal issues that we’ve suppressed to some degree.

Those emotional cracks are similar to egoic stress fractures, where one’s envy or disappointment – in one’s own station, status or stagnation – substantially limit one’s ability to be of service to others in need. Recognizing these weak areas, and spiritually course correcting, are essential to being able to perform with integrity and then manifesting a life of mastery, not mediocrity.

It matters not whether “the ask” is in your wheelhouse or is, so to speak, not even your cup of tea. What matters is to be able to respond to those who seek your help with a sincerity of heart and mind, that accurately reflects the full extent of your compassion, if not your devotion or capability at the time.

It takes some self-awareness to catch ourselves whenever we are responding with a mealy-mouthed Yes, which can be an energy that may not necessarily be detectable to others. But, that type of response can for sure be felt in one’s own throat, in that exact moment or soon after it penetrates our own ear. It’s a reliable “spidey” sense, of our consciousness, that serves as a reliable smell detector. Even of our own stench.

The circumstance can be a “practical ask” that may have to do with giving help to someone who needs short or long-term caregiving, or help with drafting a work document. These can also be “aspirational asks” that may be about supporting someone who needs help so they can build their metaphorical barn. That “barn” represents the organizing structure from which the person can work out their own career or personal goals for reaching success or even happiness.

If we are just not feeling it, I think that’s perfectly OK. What’s not so OK is faking the effort, or showing up with less than palpable enthusiasm and generosity of spirit. This is particularly difficult to do when it comes to romances. Many of us have had either close friends, family and/or coworkers who selected a romantic partner that we may have legit concerns about. What can be difficult to do in those situations is to not insert ourselves into other’s choices. The better move is to quietly watch from the sidelines until we are asked to participate in any activity or decision that involves the party in question. (That recommendation of course is thrown out the window and does not apply if there is any concern of abuse.)

Speaking of living the all-in way, consider The Biggest Little Farm, a 2019 film about a couple’s choice to leave the big city to create a sustainable farm life, and in the process transform a tragically denatured piece of land in California to nothing less than a slice of heaven on earth. John and Molly’s story was beautifully depicted in that film.

Now they are back to share another chapter in their inspiring journey, with The Biggest Little Farm Series. This is the official sequel to the movie and it is an equally glorious production, on every level. The 12-part series launched for free on YouTube this past Sunday. And be sure to watch the original film if you missed it when it first came out. Their life’s work is priceless art in motion.

Giselle M. Massi is the author of “We are Here for a Purpose: HOW TO FIND YOURS,” the novel “Just Dance the Steps,” and a romantacy called “WYNTER’S DREAM.” Giselle was a journalist with The Denver Post for 16 years and writes the newspaper advice column TELL GISELLE. Contact her at www.gisellemassi.com.