“In both relationships and life, trust begets trust, And generosity begets generosity.”

One of my own greatest challenges is not reacting in judgment when I feel threatened (by other drivers is a great example,) disrespected or judged by another. More often than not our reactions are a reflection of the energies we are receiving. The top two ways of staying away from our judgment button are: practice staying in the moment and refuse delivery of negatives being directed toward you.

Let's delve into this using the driving example: In the car, when another driver behaves in such a way that may cause an accident, for many, road rage happens. First the driver feels a rush of adrenaline and breath-taking fear that feels like rage. Rage is the extreme end of judgment and a measure of how frightened the individual felt. Some have a lesser reaction, but a response none-the-less. In the past I used to “blow up” the offending vehicle with the touch of a secret weapon button on my steering wheel. I not only exercised my great imagination, I instantly released the anger! Yet I was disappointed in myself for having an irate reaction. The truth of the moment, I was not hurt, I was being judgmental.

The same is true when an over-reaction takes place in the midst of feeling disrespect or judgment coming from another. We can choose to allow the other person to express their opinion while not accepting delivery of their intent, which has the power to diffuse their intent.

Anyone we perceive as a menace to our well being will get a reaction if we are minding their business and not our own. By staying in the moment, we can stay on our own turf, govern our reactions, and, not worry about what the other guy is doing. When we feel disrespected or judged, it usually happens due to the other person assuming they know something about us when they do not. You may have heard about the A-S-S-U-M-E cliché, well, it is true! As with the driving example, the truth of the moment is apparent if we take a deep breath and realize we are safe.

Another way to look at the “judgment thing” — when we are not minding our own shop, we seem to browse in that of another. That is when the judgment button is free to be pushed. Stay present and in your own business and it may help you on your journey toward eradicating judgment in your life. I know it helps me. And if you are on the road and some other driver behaves in such a way that your judgment button is ready to pop, think about how happy you are to be safe and on your way merrily down the road!

Addendum: The other day, in a state of relaxation and meditation, I came to realize that the greatest path to non-judgment is internal peace. Staying “in the moment” gives you the strength and awareness to refuse delivery of anything you do not want. That kind of inner power is an element of peace. “Peace is when urges and emotions are understood, accepted and not used as the focus of our energy, leaving the heart as quiet as a windless day.”
Wishing you peace-filled breezes and sunny smiles as you greet 2010!

Marsha is the mother of six adopted children, a master’s graduate of The Clayton College of Natural Health, a 3rd degree black-belt and certified personal trainer. Questions and comments welcome. Contact Marsha at info@marshagcook.com